this is the story of a gurl…

Specially dedicated for those who is brokenhearted…

I thought I was finally in your heart

But you act as if you want me out of your life and far apart

I cared for you more than I should have

Now she's the one you want, she has all your love.

I guess you could never have feelings for me

She took my love from your heart, now she's all you see

Jealousy comes whenever her name appears

Who is there for me to run to, who will understand my dreams and fears?

I thought you would always be there.

But I guess your friends were right- you never did care.

As I sit here wondering why...?

To think of all the sweet things said and know every thing was a lie

I guess I should just give up

My heart has had just about enough 

The feelings I have shared

The heart aches I have bared

All the smiles you brought

All the tears I have fought

I would take you back to be by my side

But I would lose too much, including my pride

I guess this is it, it's finally the end

It hurts too much... to just remain a friend

p/s: it’s hurt to be hurted, isn’t it?

After all, wut is past is gone forever. And memory so unreliable, may prove to be the enemy of truth. Actions once etched in the mind become blurred with the passage of time, confidences so lovingly shared vehemently denied, wut was once fact is dismissed fantasy..

            Dun take it too much to heart ; well-meaning voices exclaim. Fate, destiny, call it wut u will, somethings were meant to be. LEARN TO LET GO. LIFE MUST GO ON.

            Some-things are best forgotten. And wut is past is gone forever. But woven in our past are the strand tt shape our future 4. yesterday was created tomorrow.

            Some-things, though best forgotten, can never fade away. We carry them within our heart, always until the end of our lives…

….we always think that to be strong is holding on, but sometimes it is letting go…

            Setelah skian lamanya… after all these years passed… always find myself hv NO time for me. Even obviuosly da time’s mine. But really seems tt I hv 2 share it wif others + a lot of unsettle commitment. Doing things for others favors, n just a little for myself. U can call it unsincere if u want to. But dun bluff to urself,rite? (afterall, who can admit being too ikhlas in doing all da things he’s doing? Kalau ader, mmg salute tahap dewa laa..)After being hit wif all da tremendously terrible things in life (even bukanla slalu n spanjang masa) dun u ever need a space for u to be selfish or at least to breathe? I do…

            This 2 weeks holiday, aku dh plan dgn lamanya to do the things-tt-i-really-sincere to do.eventhough bukak2 je cuti nih exam2 menanti dgn sukahati. But this time aku dh tak kesah n mmg tanak kesah. Cukupla apa yg aku dh balun ms kls. dh tak larat dah… btw, not everyday will be a holiday,rite? =P…erm… let me see… Listen to the song ‘stary-stary nite’ (quite sentimental ,am i?),with my hand drawing wutever tt come across in my mind (kalo deserve dipanggil drawing laa), pluck my guitar tt have been years kene perosok bawah katil (eventhough there’s absolutely no sound like song will b heard.aiyaa…seriously, smpai skang takleh igt cord dia.mmg hampeh btol!), write wutever my heart triggers my mind to say out loud, read the storybook (I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUE) tt I bought 2 years ago, but  still n still cant see the last page (seriously, tt book is damnnn-good-plus-with-damnnn-much-not-very-clean-words. 24hrs mencarut beb!Smpai dh naik juling gakla aku baca), sewing my own bedsheet with my very own design… ermmm =) alhamdulillah, I succeedly did it. Somewut, it’s soo relieve to know tt I can still recognize the word sincere, to my ownself.. pheww…Thank God! Just smile wif the sky!