this is the story of a gurl…

            Recently rumah aku mmg full with magazines.kalau dulu mesti akan full ngan majalah remaja, dara, or paling2 koman readest digest aku,tapi skang majalah2 tuh macam dah kene blacklist. Dah out of dated. Yang bersepah2 atas katil n bilik aku yg dikongsi wif my sis tuh skang = pengantin+ wanita+ segala majalah yang berkaitan ngan perkahwinan. Pantang ader jer cover mag yang model dia pakai bj glemer ala2 pngantin sket, mesti akan ader dlm koleksi rumah aku. Seems like a place for anyone-can-come-n-do-research-for-preparation-in-getting-married. All of these just bring the one conclusion n evidence to me, she’s getting married…

            I have quite a close relation with my sis. Most of my daily life or tragic-tragedy things tt happened will b updated with her. Even when I was buying the new jeans, she is the 1^st one tt I told in order to get her envy. Huhu… of course when this ‘married’ things turn up, I’m also the 1^st one who happy for her. But still, I keep asking her . is it ‘he’ the one u’re looking 4? Is it really him the MR RITE? Wut if he’s actually not the one? Is it u want to get married becoz it’s time to do so,not becoz

ur

pure n genuine luv? I was surely like hell to think tt her reaction gonna be like ‘lempang-budak-ni-kang-baru-tau’. =P but the way she responded did suprising me. She stayed silence then said, SHE’S EVEN NOT SURE ABOUT IT! Errr…I SHOULD SLAP MY OWN FACE FOR DOING THIS. I should not asked her THIS-SOO-STUPID-QUESTION in this very around the corner to the ceremony,but just cant help myself. Seriously, I ALWAYS pray tt jodoh dia mmg ngan abg tuh n berkekalan sampai ke syurga.hopefully she has made a wise decision after had resisted some proposes fr the unknown guys.hopes it’s worth it 4 wut she stands 4. Amin…

            Kalo dulu, I keep teasing my parents about the idea to get married early.kawin masa tgh blaja. Abahla yg beriya2 tak kasi. ‘ko jgn buat hal ila.blaja dulu.’ Mak pulak dgn muka slambanya cakap ‘tak kesah. Asalkan ko pandai bahagi masa n plajaran still mantain. But tt guy biarla dh keje’. senang. but I think they took it sooo seriously 4 wut I said (mmgla masa aku cakap tuh dgn muka serius walopon dlm hati nak terguling-guling gelak.but hey!tak mungkinla kan…) so oleh itu, antara 10 sbb yg diorg listkn ‘KENAPA ILA TAK BOLEH BLAJA KAT OVERSEA’ ialah sbb TAKUT AKU KAWIN KAT SANA. Hahaha…lawak gile! But skang nih, aku dah tak gunakanla lagi kata2 macam apakata ila kawin awal as a ‘lelucon’ material. Coz makin lama, I think tt ‘thing’ is too thrill and sacred to be as a joke. Isn’t it? Skang nih aku lebih suke kenekan mak aku dgn ayat, macam mana kalau ‘tt guy’ is a foreigner? Ermm… kat UIA nih byk foreigner ensem2 tau… Hehhe.. luv to see my mum’s face when I said tt. She seems soo terrified! =P nahh.. tak mungkinla…if tt happen, I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be listed as 1 of the 7 miracle things in the world!

Dah genap 15 hari di tahun baru. Masuk thn baru nih, means nearly 2 decades I’ve breathed on this earth, His earth. Many things happened, either yang best2 dan yang tak best langsung. Tapi bila dah lama2 nih,baru tersedar yang tak best tuh sumanya best sbenarnya, dan yg best2 tuh takla sebest mana pon. Haha…dah buat ayat macam keling. But tt’s the factla… bila dibuat servey main2 ngan member2, tahun baru nih apa yg diharapkan. Puratanya akan jawab lebeh kurang camnihla…..nak lupakan kesah2 lama yg sedeh, nak jadik lagi baik, nak lebih berjaya, dan tak kurg gak ader yg jawab tahun nih mesti kene ade balak baru yg lebih hensem! Ahahah.. aish…rasanya lebih baik jawab tahun nih mesti kene kawin kot….=P

            Tak kesahla apa2 pon harapan yg diharapkan. Tp pada aku, biarla azam tuh sikit n tak keterlaluan, tapi achievable. Tak perlula berazam beriya2 tapi tak berusaha ke arah tu pon. Dan tak perlulah menyambut tahun baru beriya2 tapi esoknya masih berada di takuk yg lama, tetap burn subuh kerana terlampau penat dan bersemangat menyambut thn baru. Itu patriotik tak bertempat namanya! Pernah jugak masa zaman muda2 dulu, aku bersemangat gila sambut thn baru. Walaupon takla sampai nak melepak di KLCC, tapi setakat naik atas kerusi dan baca ikrar tahun baru, rasanya macam dh cukup poyo utk aku. Still laughing at myself when remember tt moment. Rite now 4 me, everyday is new.n i still trying to be a new person for good. Wake up everyday with smile…=)

            Btw, I think this 2006 really could be a very new year for me. My sister akan kawin on this Mac, means fr tt day I’ve to learn to be a single sister. The only sibling left and bachelor: ME.available or not? Hehe..not this year . then me akan habis blaja kat pj n gi kuantan. Another new things. sometimes just hate to change bila kita mmg dah slesa dgn apa yg ada. Kalo bleh nak stay 19 n always 19 coz have slightly phobia on turning 20.erm.. let just it called as oldphobic.huhu.. but life is a cycle. Mcm mdm Rosmarina ajar.. Manusia punya cycle nih limited. means, mmg dah fix lepas baby jadi kanak2, remaja, dewasa, tua dan …. Pengakhirannya tetap balik ke tanah..

            Anyways, lets this year be a meaningful one n a year full with joy n happiness. Life is adventure n mystery, not to be missed!

so tired, and very fustrated at da 1st place.

my financial report being rejected by da financial department nearly 5 times.. ituh ok lg.. kene bape kali ulang alik jumpa advisor, ngadap muka akak2 STAD tuh, kene tambah ngan perli2 lagi… rasa cam bengang n betul2 wat aku tak smangat… kalo la bukan sbb half of the money was come from me, dah lama aku wat bodoh je psl report tuh.. isk… rasa geram gila2… ngan ramai org. rasa cam hampir2 nak mletup jer.kalo dah mletup, nahas je laa…skang nih aku dok abiskan masa baca buku’i know this much is true’. the author nih punya cara penyampaian, dia suka menyumpah seranah org dlm ati. fuck with tt man, wut a bitch gurl.. and i guess it did affect me… rasa mcm dh terpengaruh jer….

sabar2…